In our surrender to the opening of the ground, we stand face to face with the work of transmuting not only our pain and grief, but our inner asshole. I have gone into studies and contemplations around that last aspect of our existence, with which we tend to get in trouble. It is that part of us, which we are Least proud of, and the part we often tend to become dishonest around, in our meeting with and continued opening to power and the ground – especially in spiritual circles and community.
To say it straight – when we deepen, this part is Bound to show up. The darkness from the underground, which is all of that in us, which in its turns of and meeting with the power of creation, tends to move into alleys of abuse, of obsession, power-tripping, exploitation and such.
Generally, there is no sense in denying the fact, that we have this darkness in us waiting to be transmuted – deeper and deeper – and more than anything, probably, it makes sense to come fully to terms with the fact, that we are Everything – in the face of reality as the All-inclusion – and not just Love. Not Just softness and sweetness, but also the potential to the exact opposite.
Our boldness in denying no part of our human nature, is what gives us strength on this journey. If we can own and dare to stand with inner Honesty in the face of our inner asshole, then we are well along and already moving beyond the map in terms of ending the distortions of our consciousness, which we tend to unconsciously feel inclined to do – at all times where this inner ruggedness shows its face. We do not like this face of ours – even if it is All of ours – and so we rarely admit to actually being that part also – or at least refrain from doing so unless we are pushed to the edge, where that particular face can show itself. And yet this face is Bound to show itself at every single turn to higher level of empowerment, that we pass through.
We can do only one of two things – accept or deny. And when this ugliness appears, it truly is our acceptance that is needed, since our denial and suppression is bound to cause greater and greater trouble and suffering along our way. It Pays to get realistic in our self-view – simply due to the fact, that our inner asshole will Always be a part of our growth and will continue to require our full honesty. Simply because it exists as a part of our growth and resolutions, as just another passing show and yet a show wanting to be seen and acknowledged silently instead of judged. We are not well off, unless we come to fully accept and embrace this part of our own equation.
We cannot turn soft unless we recognise the hard.
We cannot turn inherently good unless we recognise the seemingly bad.
We cannot turn compassionate unless we recognise the rejecting,
and we cannot Know true Beauty before we know the seemingly ugly.
When we overlook these facts, the inner asshole becomes a major destructive force, moving in the unseen as shadow. The moment we can’t acknowledge its existence despite its flourishing under the surface, we are bound to cast this shadow of “unseen, un-owned and dishonest”. It is frankly speaking not valuable – to anyone – when this part of the equation is not handled honestly, responsibly and with a sense of humour.
In my deepening and teachings, I find, that the requirement for dealing with this part of the equation – which Naturally is bound to show up, when wisdom is to be born – moves in cycles.
I experience what seems to be an unstoppable stream of cracking into deeper and deeper merging with Her, and I experience, that it fluxes me between the deeper drops into union – the emergence as pure power and deeper unification with the Power of Creation – and in between each deepening round, I experience its flip-side of needing to readjust for massive transmutation of this Other side, which reveals in the opening of the ground, which I here refer to as the inner asshole.
There is only one way to do this work – and it is in great honesty. To skip or somehow not fully agree to walk with the implications to and responsibilities of opening to and growing into this power, is Bound to lead us into a gradual deterioration of our sensibility and compatibility with the human race.
Each cycle in which we deal with the wildness of the beast brings both greater wisdom – And another round of dealing with the impact of the power entering the system – from wildness to refined, from unconscious to conscious. It is a LOT of translation-work to unfold the Power of Creation to any significant depth and degree – to become Truth on ground.
The work of Transmutation
The translation work itself is a refinement. A refinement of the wild and raw power of nature towards our compatibility with the human race and taming the power to our emergence as the Divine Feminine. Something which requires our full self-honesty and an eradication of all of those parts of us, which we feel to look away from based on needing to belong or generally to perceive ourselves as “good” with some subtle aversion to what we perceive to be “bad”.
The power of nature is neither good nor bad. It just Is. It finds equal pleasure in creation and destruction. In that sense it is not a moral force. It is just plainly and simply; Force/Power.
The translation of our inner faculties and ability to stand open to – to be no one and innocent in the face of this power – through the refinement of our vehicles, maturation of our psyche and softening of our edges towards it, requires a full putting down of our inner rejections towards what needs to be met and fully seen in the Light of consciousness. and this includes every aspect of the dark forces rising from the soil.
Believe it or not, but innocence is actually equal to not-denying the fact of this darkness – when it appears. When we’re assholes, we’re assholes – plain and simple, no shame in that! It is an honest fact sometimes, and we can either be humorous and accepting in our embrace of it, or we can hide, be ashamed and make ourselves and each other wrong in the face of it. If there can be honesty and acceptance, there can be Light. If there is Light, it can take place with lightness and compassionate space around it. If not, there really really can’t be – and we can divide the Whole world into black and white based on this missing piece of acceptance.
We feel truly convinced, that the appearance of the asshole in itself is lack of innocence… we for sure want to make that interpretation based on people’s response to it. and to make it Clear – this appearance and its handling is a Part of Her unfolding and your work of resolution.
Straying from the honesty of being present with this part of us Actually is what leads to less than innocence.
Consider this for a moment. Innocent does not mean blue-eyed, giggling and smiling. It means Honest – ergo without any secondary voice of judgment – towards whatever needs to be Held in the centre of consciousness.
So that leaves us with;
Can we allow ourselves to be this asshole in the face of it – not act out, but be present with?
And as result, can we let others be the asshole, without trying to pull them out of taking their own responsibility in their occurrence of it?
Can we Not push or pull, reject or mingle around with this part of existence?
Can we honestly meet it without internally delaying its appearance by sliding our consciousness away in disagreement to its rising from the depths?
These are good and valid questions…
Giv’em a try! – the Livingroom Forum awaits your discussion and sharing…
Straightness of True Disappearance,