Teaching-pack: Woman’s Toolbox
- Welcome
- Step 1: Womanhood
- Step 2: Enjoyment-body
- Step 3: Feminine Realisation
- Step 4: Writings
- Meditations
You have arrived inside a Teaching-pack with materials by Pema Salem, centred around the topic of awakening the Divine Feminine.
The contents in this pack are a collection of relevant teachings on the inner work connected with expanding the inner space of compassion, attending to our healing and learning to love the harder feelings, hidden in the deep of the human sub-conscious.
This teaching-pack provides a collection of videos and writings, for you to explore and contemplate, as absorption of both transmission from Pema herself as well as through scriptural transmissions, written by Pema.
For you to engage optimally with the contents, please create space and time for you to allow receptivity and listening, making you able to receive the contents into your own being in true understanding and recognition.
You are warmly invited to Enjoy & Relax, with your journey into Feeling with Pema Salem.
You’re starting your journey with this Step 1, which cover the baseline of working with your inner environment. The basics on healing, trauma-handling, trust and your limitless nature as compassionate presence, are here presented in a video series.
Absorbing these teachings, you become prepared for building the capacity to embrace your healing and the harder feelings met in your descent from Heart to Belly and into human wholeness.
Videos
With a Solid foot in the baseline teachings around handling ourselves in the healing of the subconscious, we in this step 2, take a closer look directly at the harder feelings hiding in the inner environment, which we are bound to meet, when embracing the ground.
With the baseline teachings on descent, we are dressed to start exploring the Depths with shameless certainty and Love.
Videos
In this step 3, You are invited to start working with the scriptural transmissions by Pema Salem connected to the topic. These should dress you proper for gaining a deeper understanding and insight into the challenges connected with embracing the depths.
To work best with the contents, you are advised to read one article at a time, and after each take time to contemplate what has been read. Contemplation is equal to “spending time with” a topic. In other words, to Feel and be present with the contents and your understanding of them, letting the mind go through its natural musings on the topic, rather than Actively Think and thereby trying to force thought thinking about it. Try to Listen deeper and explore the topic with your sense of Feeling!
Articles
Purifying the Sensory System
From Space to Matter
No matter how far we can be in the cultivation of our Beings as Void/Space, there is a piece of work waiting in the Full embrace of Truth, which will conduct the purification of our sensory system by the burning out of the ignorance in the Heart and body on our way to attaining alignment between all aspects of realization.
There is no right and wrong, but there is a full-circle realization and it does not allow Any aspect of the equation to escape the fact of Sameness and True transcendence as a Fully Blown and infinitely self-running translation of pure Emptiness straight into Existence in and as its own Full Potential.
Attending to the honesty of our Beings and its full alignment as Truth across All and Nothing will send us further onwards to a recognition of Source through every possible dimension of realization.
The sensory system – our sense of feeling – is the only alley available for us to unfold ourselves as God through the body. In the agreement to incarnate as That, our nervous-system and its integration of pure Light becomes what Truly brings us Here.
Before our Real awakening – the recognition of our self as Basic Space of phenomena – we are easily caught in the alleys, choicelessly defeated by our humanness, as we experience the turmoil of the lack of purity in feeling.
This can often be the reason for us to seek towards states of Being, where we don’t have to deal with our human ignorance and the pain that follows it. At the outset Nothing is off about that, but at some point, when Nothing has become our ground of Being, we are Ready for the Real Challenge – the turnover and in depth meeting with that in us, which made us lose our calm, before we woke up.
For men, specifically, it is hard to attain this purification, because his seat and entry point is further from the heart than woman’s is. Pride and arrogance permeates the heavy load of ego clinging to the realization of Space based on what we have created and accepted among us as a historically attained weight on validity in Higher and Higher states of absence by men themselves having dissolved their connection with Existence.
In this way Space has been made into something, whereby a spiritual seeker could measure him or her self by his solidity in untouchability. Due to this, the mainstream of spirituality has made the part of continuation beyond feeling into something to be respected and reflected onto the world as above-human, rather than Seeing what the realization of Space truly is – an invitation for the transcending of the human ignorance and a becoming of the True Man – the very core of the possibility of the incarnation as Truth in Form.
The human body itself is a vital part of the discovery of reality and its potential and thereby, in addition to Mind, is one of the most significant seats/holders of realization across everything and nothing.
To embrace Truth fully, we do not use our realization of Space as a means to avoid our deepest vulnerability as humanity, but we undertake the task of allowing the full education of our human Beings into the God-beings, that we Truly are.
As we make our way into acknowledging the need for the death of our ego throughout existence, as well as beyond it, we discover the fact, that not only is the Heart the core of the Universe, but the very vehicle through which our realization as God at all can reach into our every cell and become a True Incarnation – knowing ourselves as God in form throughout every aspect of our living reality.
The evolution of consciousness is truly depending on our willingness to embrace All Aspects of surrender to Reality, whether it is connected to the maturation of the Clarity as pure Mind, Energy-body as pure Heart or Individuality (person-hood bent to the qualities of wisdom) as God itSelf.
It removes the weight on the Mind, and thereby on the Space realization, as an in any way a separate or more important element, than that (same Being) which operates through our hearts, guts, toes and fingers. It is All the Same – and so it must be recognized to be, beyond any doubt within our Beings.
The purification
At the outset, our feeling system operates on identification, just as our mind does, prior to our recognition as Source through and as Mind itself.
When we first come to agree to deal with the purification of the sensory system, we literally agree to embrace Truth through those parts of our Beings, which are the registering factor of Existence itself as feeling. The passing into form is All about the purification of Consciousness itself and thereby a dedication to the fullfilment of our Being as human, rather than a dismissal and absence from it.
The purification has three chapters, which is the ignition of the Brain in the Heart, followed by a passing through all fear, which can rise due to mistrust in and thereby fear of Life (our Self/God), which in turn can become any kind of contraction in the human body based on past experiences and prior learning by contraction (fear) rather than relaxation and passing of pain, followed by its imminent education and expansion of our Life, our Being, in/as existence.
When we start agreeing to meet our Hearts fully, we come up against anything in us able to twist pure feeling into emotionality, story-making. This is the first step. The emotionality must be seen in its in-accuracy, where it spins off by the rising of a feeling, which is based on preference, and we must come to learn true sameness, in which we do not rise as objection inside ourselves to whatever feeling rises to pass in our human being.
Every feeling is a note on the human piano and nothing but that; just a note! When feeling is twisted by preference and disagreement, we come to witness a reflection of the contraction (ego building as objection) around the feeling, rather than the relaxation into it, and it becomes emotionality.
When we have awakened beyond existence, that twist seems to no longer entrap us, but instead it becomes tempting to retract from the sense of feeling, when the feeling system becomes overwhelmed by its own reflection of ignorance, and thereby becomes a contrast to our knowing of ourselves beyond identification. On this we must change our minds. We must come to agree to acknowledge the sameness in all feelings, so that no preference or subtle judgment gets to survive in the sensory system.
When we are ready to let go of the attempt to try and get away from the feeling, we become ready to Face the Feeling, by not creating a movement based on preference of peace and disagreement with existence rather than respect and love for the human experience.
To become a Man/Woman is equal to attaining complete loyalty (despite the awakened minds option to flee from the pain of the heart’s ignorance) to stand strong in the heart and face everything. The Brain in the Heart develops and becomes stronger, when this becomes the choice.
The Brain in the Heart is equal to the expanse of Heartspace, just like the strength of the minds recognition of itself as Space is equal to the strength of the realization of/as Void. In this way the purification of the Heart is in reality a supplement to the Void realisation and not a lower reality to be dismissed. Only in the alignment between realisation of Source through our Gut, Heart and Head will we come to Truly embrace and become the real potential behind the Human Vehicle.
To face the ignorance in the heart is equal to choosing fully to let the Heart and thereby body enter into its Full knowledge of itself as God. It means that Every cell must be carried into the sameness, must be released from its lack of transparency and ability to stand as pure Energy and thereby beyond identification.
When the feeling rises, to which there is an objection, our Beings tends to take refuge where it is safe and sheltered. It means that it is strongly advised for oneself to start investigating where and how our beings function, when we get overwhelmed or cannot face what is pending and waiting to pass as fear, for another and deeper expansion into Life itself.
Our minds can start thinking in a specific way, which can make our beings retract into a specific mode, shape or no-shape as a self-protective mechanism.In this way our beings can react by making a twist into being hyper, an increase in energy that seeks exit into the surroundings, which can spin our consciousness off into higher states (upwards), or we can retract into space to become untouchable etc.
There is nothing wrong with any of these movements in themselves, but when they happen automatically following the registration of a subtle feeling, which is a significant piece of information reflected to us by the body that we choose to overlook, then we for sure need to catch ourselves in this automatic fleeing motion. This motion happens as pure avoidance, as an ego attempting self-protection as a way of avoiding what is present and requires passing in the Heart through surrender to increased relaxation and in most cases the passing of pain in cracking open deeper.
As being awake we stand to choose the discomfort of human emotion over the seemingly tempting refuge in space from a deeper dedication to Truth than the escape – by Full Engagement.
The purification of the sensory system requires a full willingness to meet Everything within the human existence, which is not yet transcended and transparent as Source without taking any distance from it. It must come as a total agreement to penetrate all ignorance within us as the Space that We Are.
We must stand as Real Hunger for Truth over any willingness to bend for discomfort, to be able to fully pass through the egos twist of emotionality and avoidance of pain into pure feeling and sameness by total honesty to All parts of the equation.
For people who are not awake, there is less of a resource available, but the same work to do. The strength of Being must necessarily be built up into its own full intensity – as pure concentration – before we can carry our Beings in Love and thereby attain a solid God-realization, which can be carried as the base of our human existence. The work stands with igniting the power of Love, by the ongoing choice of Love over fear, of openness and surrender over contraction and protection.
The purification of the Heart is a direct reflection of our relationship with the universe, wherein God-realization is ONLY attained by the full surrender of the body in trust. It is no recognition of God from a point, but the eradication of Any point to the full relaxation beyond separation between inner and outer world and thereby a complete transformation of the personal reality and point of view into an impersonal and All Inclusive one.
The impersonal reality must be seen, in the recognition of the heart, to have nothing outside itself. It means that the whole body and everything within the person is delivered to the recognition of Self as God and thereby stands as the total relaxation into Trust in Life, which allows the body to start operating according to Love without Any controller or controlling instance apart from Love itself. It is literally a deletion of the body’s human software and the installing of God-software, which makes the living life itself becomes a reflection of the fearless and a pure relaxation and play-out of Love.
Wounding & Wholeness
Entering Wholeness – Allowing Love
As we unfold in intimacy together, those places which have been calling for Love, our whole lives, and which have been playing themselves out as patterns of experiences, behaviour, ways of thinking and/or feeling, will rise.
The only way to enter into Wholeness, is by Being with and fully feeling and hearing those parts of us. They may be angry, rejecting of Love etc. but it is only through our persisting effort to get to the bottom and core of the wounding, that we will get the chance to become Whole. To reach through the protective identity into the wound and to consciously create a different human reality for ourselves, wherein we say Yes to unfold as human maturity, wholeness and beauty.
More than anything, it is about coming in as Love to touch the core belief in us, that we are not worthy of the Love, which we are. It also means, that to be able to truly Come into Wholeness of Being, we must be willing to give ourselves this Love. To be Lifted Up and open ourselves to a far Greater human Life and reality, than we so far have been able to manifest through our negligence of the Feminine.
The Surfacing Wound
As we go deeper in Intimacy together, the Love arrives to heal the wound. As we find ourselves in a deeper and deeper Love together, we might experience the surfacing of the wound, as being covered in massive appearances of anger, hurt and abandonment. All angles which we must be very conscious and awake to not project outwards unto our surroundings and partner.
It is here, where the focus on our healing and on our consort-ship (rather than an image of a core-family) is extremely beneficial. Not to say completely necessary. It is only through our Love and Respect for ourselves and each other, that we can dance through this healing side by side. And it demands a Strong Love to do it. Commitment and the deepest possible Yes.
The appearances of identity, which surfaces as we enter the wound, often rises with such vehemence and insisting, that it becomes hard for us to contain ourselves, if we do not have the space for total focus and self-responsibility. In this situation, it is beneficial to not have to be in the same space. In other words we must through the healing attend to the needs of and care for both sides, so as to not create more hurt and pain between us.
The rapid movements of feelings and thoughts, into conclusions and projections, are likely to have been our bullet-proof self-protection for many years. To break out of this, we must navigate the entry into the depths with minute precision and listening. With absolute humility and admittance towards our brokenness.
The anger, hurt and abandonment, which we tend to project unto our partner in the intimate relationship, is more than anything a surfacing of the identity, which is actually the core wound, wherein you have left your Self. Your Love.
There is deep helplessness and weakness, which must be met directly, rather than defended against at the bottom of this. And touching here will feel dangerous. Simply because we not only have learned as humans, that we must be strong in this world, but also because we as animals have a strong nature against allowing the showing of weakness around predators, which anyone who has “become strong” around the wounding and in their self-protection is.
Our need for healing and human limitation is a deeply humbling situation, and it is only through our willingness to make mistakes without defending or becoming righteous about them, that we can emerge as the pure Power of the Feminine.
The energy (power) which arrives in our deepening together needs be held with responsibility and care for everything. It can thereby be said, that excusing or defending our taking out our pain and anger on the people around us is not OK… and yet, we must meet our limitation with great compassion and forgiveness.
But there is a best way to handle ourselves and be around each other through our healing.
Giving our All to the Healing
To get to the bottom of the wounding, we will have to expose ourselves and each other to as much pain as is necessary, with it re-surfacing in unwanted ways, until we Get Enough of it. As the result we come to the place, where we are willing to give up our impatience and lack of tenderness towards it, and to turn our full attention towards its healing.
Once we are Ready to Give our All, the door opens for us to meet our brokenness beyond self-judgement and self-protection. It requires a strong Love and deep Trust between us, as humans, to be able to do so together in partnership. Together we must come into a willingness of Love, which is so totally beyond judgement, that we can meet our own as each others need for healing with compassion, tenderness, patience and forgiveness.
We can Only give each other that, if we can give ourselves that. It is therefore of greatest importance, that we start attending to the relationship with and attitude towards our human state.
When we can Be with what needs our Love and attention in our selves, we can support each other in being partners in Love. This is a total coming into self-responsibility, wherein we do not lean on or grasp at each other for Love. And yet we stand, with an openness in trust, ready to receive Love, whenever the gates are overflowing from our partner.
What often happens, as we enter deeper and deeper into love together, is, that we reach the places, where we are hurt at the same time. At least if we are with a partner, which we are equal with in age of Soul.
Maxing out our capacity to either give or receive, we can either choose to attend to ourselves, or we can start projecting and acting out our brokenness. ~ This ~ is a Very Pivotal point for our ability to trust each other in the relating. It is the point, where man and woman usually get into disharmony and cause each other greater pain, in the attempt at getting from each other, what they need to give themselves.
If we disregard our own inaccuracy in acting out, we will cause drama and pain until the avoidance gives up and we are ready to let the actual healing happen. This causes immense clean-up work of reestablishing trust and forgiveness over and over. If we make the right and responsible choice of admitting what is in us, we can move straight onwards in our cooperation, to facing our healing.
It is a gradual process of maturation beyond shame of imperfection through coming into Love of ourselves.
As we become mature enough to make the right choice, we become able to be with our brokenness without making it wrong. Without passing judgement on our human feelings, the wound slowly starts turning itself in to be Loved and healed. In this way we get access to touch the wound in its deepest places.
It requires a Great Love and much consciousness to be able to work with these things together, and it is of importance, as we dance our lives into a higher and higher frequency, that we allow everything around our self-hatred _from actions, to feelings and thoughts – to turn into loving and respectful ones. Towards our selves first and foremost and as the result; towards our loved ones.
Going deeper in intimacy with your partner, there can be no hurrying or pushing by impatience from a place of “wanting to live a life together” outside of what is going on, as the very bottomline of your Being in Love and healing together.
It is important that you, in closing in on the patterns of yourself, stay focused on your healing and allow a Full Concentration and as much Space around your Birth into Wholeness as is necessary.
To stick to people or surroundings, which do not support the unfolding, will not serve you nor your partner. Nature, time, your own space, water, healthy food and healthy connections of relation, will serve you well. To do this, please focus and take Good Care of each other.
Feelings are Not the Enemy
In our embrace of Reality on and in-ground we develop loving kindness and compassion. It happens through the dissolution of the arrogance towards existence, which we are bound to meet as the resistance we have to be deeply and truly on ground.
We stand before the return to an emotional honesty, which isn’t based towards the squeeze we are inflicting to our way of feeling, based on a need to fit into an imaginary context. Setting free this preference of feeling requires our courage, stamina and constant application as Love in a movement towards full presence. Towards Love for the Earth and deep surrender to Her as the archetypal force of creation. That meeting with Source is the ground of Being in the belly.
When we open the door to fulfill our humanness, it isn’t about what we do – but about what we Are. When we Are, on ground, we are not disconnected from Source nor do we have a problem with any which feeling that can arise inside our emotional system as humans. In other words feelings are not the enemy anymore, and due to our presence with and holding of them, they have lost their control over us as something we compulsively have to live-out or express. We have befriended them and can now be the painter standing inside the painting.
It is not outside the scope of our ability as consciousness and walk in Truth to arrive at such human Peace. What is required is however, that we stop seeing feelings as the enemy. As something we have to overcome or get rid of, but rather start embracing the reality of our human nature, as a way to fully release the contrast and opposition between our consciousness and human existence. To do so in a way where we arrive on a bed of gratitude towards, fully able to appreciate the gift of our human experience. This human life and body was given to you by Life itself – and we are frankly speaking being quite bratty, when we receive this gift with reservation and rejection towards 50% of it, holding the level of arrogance most of us hold towards fully and deeply appreciating the whole thing – the Totality of it.
We’re not here to pick and choose. We’re here to surrender and abide by – and this we can do, when we pass the fear of being alive of being true and start investing in being real rather than being safe.
Tenderness the Pearl
In the investigations of what brings our human wholeness, we for sure have covered a lot of ground in focusing in on the wounding and the meeting of that, with our Love.
Another significant key in the matter, is that key which brings our healing capacity to its highest peak and our human well-being and in-depth satisfaction, our relaxation to its deepest.
Yes, I am speaking about the turn of our Presence from the colorless being-with over it’s loving and kind compassion and turning that dial all the way to its infusion with human warmth. The keyword here Is Tenderness. To say it straight, we all long for it, to be Met by and with it and this silent human longing seriously assists in defining our way.
When the body is Met with this Love, with Tenderness, it exhales so radically that it can cry and cry for days. Letting go of all of that, which there was no space for in the living life. To be loved like that is to be loved wholly, completely, and to let go to that is the inner agreement to let All hardness dissolve in the tender palm of Her. This Love – and the ability to give it to ourselves – is within all of us. It doesn’t just leave us feeling loved, but feeling fully accepted. In other words, it tends to straighten out all the odd legs of misconception, which has formed on our way as humans, as a result of the various traumas we have been exposed to in life.
When I speak of a Love that can efficiently eradicate trauma, please be aware, that the efficiency in it has nothing to do with “getting something done”. Very oppositely, I would say, that it is the strength of that Tenderness which is so fully and agonizingly rich to us in a way, where we simply cannot keep a single nugget of that part, which so strongly believes itself to be un-loved, un-held, un-wanted, un-welcome. It is a big surprise for the nervous system to experience this Love.
The Deep Earth-acceptance is the Core of this Love. Of Tenderness. Its existence is a direct reflection that all is alright, and somehow it removes the defenses against feeling and letting light in, in even the most painful parts of ourselves.
I find that our Knowing of this way of loving ourselves – as well as others – is a pre-requisite of truly being able to appreciate being with ourselves. It is the Pearl of the Human Love and it holds a scent of romance within it, is my experience. Romance in its truest sense, where the now is so deeply celebrated and appreciated, that we can’t help but be In it. Fully in Love with it. The breathless charm of the moment – of adoration of the sensitive, the delicate, the slow – as your very Now. The quality of everything changes with this kind of Love. With Tenderness.
I must say, that of all the gems that have been uncovered along the Way, this one certainly tops as the Pearl.
There is very little doubt in me, that this Key – the Key of Tenderness – is THE one key that is needed and required for us to turn this planet around. It is the key needed to Hold and be present with the collective pain and traumas as well as it is for us individually. When I use the word trauma, I refer to the fact, that even not having access to Fathers and Mothers Love during our childhood has imprinted us with trauma. That is deeply traumatizing for the human being in itself. In other words, I do not just mean those traumas that happened as a result of deeply dramatic events, which have taken place during our life-time.
It can be said, that there are parts of our humanness, which cannot be met without this kind of very compassionate and tender love. And the reason is, that there are states of being human, which are so devastating to us, that we have a hard time simply Being them, without feeling this Tenderness in the background. With that tenderness, we for sure can meet and feel our way through anything.
Crying - becoming True unto Pain
I wake up with a reflection on my inner eye, of All the women in the world going Fully Honest unto the pain of this world. Giving up trying to reach some future to be happy in, dropping that which keeps going and fully facing the reality of Where we Are – as humans, as planet, as Woman. The image displays every woman sitting down – in all of Her integrity and exactly where she is and simply starting to cry the tears which are All of Ours. I see the crying continue and continue with a total refusal to move until man has stopped what they are doing and Turned to Listen.
When Woman cries – Man/Universe Listens.
I have several times in my life Seen the power of this – even and all the way down to our closest love-relations; The significance and power of the honesty of Woman in her pain. How it is the Only True Response to the violence that arises, when refusal to bowing and Listening is in the air. Crying as the Only true defence system that Woman has in her meeting with the (sometimes) subtle aggression and manipulation found in the face of humans disconnection. Inside or outside – to Her it is the same thing.
In allowing the mirroring of the pain around us in tears – just as willingly as the pain inside of us – the ground is met in total and utter honesty of feeling us as “This is where we Are” beyond the separation which happens when we answer violence with violence…
In giving up the notion of being strong or aim of being untouchable, our fear of showing vulnerability and letting our power and strength as Love Stand in our willingness to Deeply Feel, we truly gain the Single Most Efficient response to and tool to dissolve our power-abuse, grasping, manipulation and control. Something which we have co-created and which has lead us and the planet to a deeply broken and disconnected state of being.
With Love, Compassion and Kindness
Pema
Without the Luxury of Preference
As consciousness we must sort of give thanks to life’s way of rolling us up on shore wherever the ocean wants to take us. Delicately, Deeply, Honestly, Freely – yet bound to the nakedness of our deepest vulnerability. Are we anything but spectators to this big game? Do we decide how to feel or what to feel? The answer is no – not with the total release of the controller, the manipulator of life…
It leaves us Facing. Facing with gratitude, embracing in the most intimate sweetness, the outskirts of our human experience in the crushing waves hitting every cliff or rock we ever built to not Feel and Be with the depth of our own experience – our separation from God. And what a shame. For Love was always in wait in our meeting with these places. For we Are that Love. Even in our deepest and darkest corners – we are the Reality standing to outshine the hidden, the forbidden, the suppressed, the angry, the broken and abandoned.
We are the Light at the core of All of that. And in saying Yes. In being human – by choice of Heart, of the Deepest Commitment to This in gratitude and appreciation for our human experience – in any given moment and no matter what we meet, we are filled to the brim with the sweetness of The Fact ::: of This.
This is It. This is our human reality. This is our Now, our Moment, our Blessing. And who are we to object to that? – no matter the colour of the rainbow in that moment. Whether grey and misty or beamingly bright…
We Just don’t have the luxury of preference. Is there any other way, than to meet everything to the barebones fact of our vulnerability? I haven’t found one. Not one I would dare call accurate or to the point at least…
With Love, Pema
Shadow Honesty
So I am bringing this up, because it needs our FULL honesty in this emergence. It needs our willingness to take responsibility for Stopping and Turning to Face it by the development of Compassion towards ourselves in this place of need and hunger – rather than the continued unconscious playing out of our inner rejection and unwillingness to SEE it, while it thrives to drive our movements, feelings, thoughts and actions – or STOP them from appearing in plain sight.
We need to get Real Honest with the fact, that this shadow is a PART of us, as long as we harbor that inner separation from Her. In that acknowledgement, there can be Humility and Self-responsibility.
The moment the shadow appears inside, we grasp at Love – or reject it altogether. We do it out of fear of meeting ourselves and in hope to be rid of our own shadow. It is a movement which creates Quite the unfortunate manifestation of ourselves. In other words, we need to Get Real and Real Humble about the fact of its appearance in us.
What can take place here, is that we start generating some Real Awareness about our need for True Acceptance and honesty around this appearance of the shadow inside.
What we are used to doing to ourselves and each other, is judge Hardly the appearance of this Shadow. Something which keeps it suppressed and out of Sight.
In short we judge ourselves for not being perfect. And as the result, we not only cut ourselves off from the possibility of landing safely with All that we Are, but we also falsely stamp ourselves with whatever degree of perfection has appeared as a part of our work so far. To say it straight, it makes a backwards loop inside, causing the Beauty we HAVE unfolded in us to land in the hands of the “inner bastard” with either a growing collapse or growing carelessness, until we Stand Up to Face it in ourselves.
To Face and be Honest about our shadow, is equal to beholding Immensely much more courage, humility, realness and honesty, than our hiding behind a still-point of whatever Shine or dwelling in the collapse can Ever be. In this lies the Demand for our Courage and Honesty in Vulnerability. That we step into responsibility for the grounds of our own being and being together with the agreement to dissolve this inner hardness.
If we are dishonest to ourselves around the fact of when the shadow appears in us, then we naturally mis-use any appearance of Love in front of us – as the result. We part from the ground of BEing, Looking Away and either display carelessness seeping in own inner rejection or plain out spill the negativity of the shadow from an unconscious and non-responsible place. In short we try to make other people responsible for facing what we need to in ourselves. This is neither sustainable nor trust-worthy. We can need each other for the reflection at times, but the basic responsibility for Seeing and wrapping ourselves up in our straying from Reality – it ultimately lies with ourselves. Both men and women.
We have to Land this responsibility for dealing with our Shadow within our own Holding and Care combined with our straightness of self-responsibility. Both for ourselves – as the loss of our self-rejection and judgment TOWARDS our shadow – AND for each other.
The lack of okayness and responsibility around the shadow leaves No Room for vulnerability. Neither in or around you. The un-faced shadow operates on trying to shut off or down Vulnerability, Love and Truth. The obstacle towards what is Calling to emerge in tis time and field is not the shadow itself. It is your judgment OF the shadow – the lack of willingness to sensibly Hold and be Honest around it, as a part of your revelation of the darkness of Her. Everyone needs to step up to the responsibility for dissolving this inner judgement/hardness towards their own shadow and as the result end the projection outwards of responsibility for this part.
It is Beautiful to need other people, but the Need has to be Real. And the Only way it CAN be real, in our BEing here for and with each other, is rooted in our Meeting and Allowing Love to Hold it All. In the honesty of how we Truly Feel.
Our shadow is not a problem. But it IS something requiring our coming to Full Commitment to taking Care of our Grounds. We Fear it, because it frankly speaking is the least beautiful thing about us, but if we can turn and change ourselves towards meeting it compassionately and honestly in ourselves, then we can Truly Stand with the vulnerable situation of the most raw and naked places of needing compassion and realness with each other.
Honest to Fear
The happening of fear in the body must by far be The Sensory experience which is best able to freeze our body in its track. Fear is as such a stop-button on Love, on Life, which pauses, freezes, for a while, until we have presenced its transportation through our nervous system.
I witness many who are meeting and experiencing this happening in this time. The freezing of the system, which in many ways render them helpless. Good news – there is a Key.
First off, the awareness of and honesty to the feeling of fear must be recognized. Owned. It must be Seen in the light of full honesty and all strategies of attempts to create security through control, through acting ones way out of the underlying feeling must be caught in its track. We must reduce the impact from and isolate the feeling – so as to come into a Clear View of it.
Once the feeling of fear is in a Clear view, we have reestablished our vulnerability and thereby Touch ALL the way to the bottom. The greatest challenge from here is the ability to stay open to and explore the feeling all the way into its strongest and most delicate details.
The sense of fear in the body can arrive as a whole range of strength. The strength of it is what determines whether we experience its occurrence as fear or in its stronger manifestation – as terror.
You are Bound to experience this occurrence inside you, when you meet up with Her. If there was no fear, you can be sure that you would already be One with Her. So to proclaim “I am not afraid” is by far the most foolish expression of bravery. End the identification with fear and become brave in the face of it – instead of clinging to the notion, that not feeling fear is equal to bravery. It is a grave misunderstanding and twist of believing the occurrence of fear to be equal to weakness. The fact is – the opposite is true. Being brave is to not be afraid of being afraid.
The sensation of fear – in its clear view and full honesty – is one of ice in the veins. The very opposite of Love, which varies from warmth to fire.
If you trace the feeling of fear back to its origin – in its most raw sensory form, it is shaped like needles inside. Icy needles. It stings and is very unpleasant. But… That is all it is. and it is this knowledge which we must remember in the face of it, as it travels through our insides. We must meet the feeling in its most naked sense.
The absolute worst thing we can do in the moment of fear rolling through, is to take off. As consciousness. Do Not activate your mind, looking for a story. We must go opposite to the attempt to get-away, to escape into the mind by trying to find a reason for it, and we must crawl even closer and all the way up to its happening in the body. THIS is the movement of taking care and of taking responsibility. When we can’t own fear in the body, it sets off into forceful use of energy and when we can’t accept the nakedness of the feeling, of course, as always, it becomes a seed of manipulation as well.
In the moment of fear arising. Do NOT make the choice to speak. Focus. Focus Ever deeper until you are holding and passing this icy occurrence in your body.
If you in the moment of trying to focus are asked “what is wrong?”, from your surroundings, do not answer. The cause is simply, that if you start speaking, chances are that you will be distracted and relentlessly tossed into mind and trying to explain away why you feel how you feel. The why is not important. The taking care in that moment is. If you are around people who can be with you in that state, then Beautiful, if not, then it is not the time to explain to the people around you what is going on. In this moment, you and you alone is what matter and your passing will require your full Holding and self-focused Love.
The experience in itself is unpleasant and we can laugh at it afterwards, although we can stand a bit shocked at how strong this feeling of fear can actually BE and how much it can rattle us in the moment of its appearance.
You do however have what it takes – and now the key also – to handle this occurence in your body, connected with the drop of your being into your deeper rawness.
In my experience, fear Never has an actual cause – other than itself. We may Think that what Triggers the fear is the actual reason why we are afraid, but it never is. Whatever we seem to be afraid of, when fear is activated and reflects into minds thought, it ALWAYS is a run-down straight back to the fact, that whatever sets us off as triggers, in fact is a deeper Call from Her and requirement for us to surrender deeper. So subtly we Always know, when we need to die deeper into Her – and the “what we think we fear” may be the alley to where we subconsciously Know we Have to surrender. In this way, it is never the thing which we mentally project the fear on, in itself. It is the level of surrender it requires from us to succeed in the meeting with whatever it is we fear.
The more we deal in honesty with the feeling of fear, the more we befriend and see it for what it is, the more we simply are left with the strongly shaking uncomfortability of passing it with full consciousness.
A last reflection on the matter is, that the arising of fear always moves in cycles. If you want to befriend your fear, the way to go about it is to study when it occurs in you. With open curiosity and willingness to not flee from uncomfortability. Because it is always connected to a cycle. One of the moving wheels of your inner progress of moving in evolution.
So I guess that all that is left, is to ask you… Have you befriended your fear? What is your strategy for avoiding feeling the fear directly? How do you attempt to control your way out of the situation, when fear turns itself in? Welcoming you to contemplate the matter…
Kindness,
Pema
Shame & Loving Through It
There are many aspects of the human wounding. These aspects we carry to various degrees, which shapes how we function as human beings in our less-than-free reality. It is aspects, which we need to work through, for us to be set free and emerge to the human wholeness of absorbing all wounds into the monadic body – which in turn births Grace as the very breath in and through our bodies.
To be exact the aspects of human wounding are rejection, denial, guilt, shame, repression and separation. You may want to take a moment to reflect and recognize which of these aspects are dominant in your wiring and which you do not easily recognize.
Shame
Shame is the intensely painful feeling we have, when we believe ourselves to be flawed and as the result unworthy of Love.
In the investigations of Shame, I have found, that we all carry it around to whatever degree we are willing to dim the lights on and keep ourselves from shining brightly as true self-rest.
The reflections we have had as a child has helped us shape how much of what We Are has been allowed to unfold. To release this weight of conditioning, we actually have to feel our way to the root and bottom of the constriction we are putting – as consciousness – around our solar plexus. This is fully connected to the workings around Shame – whether we feel and acknowledge it – or not!
In this way shame may not be a feeling you are accustomed to acknowledging in your emotional system, and yet it may simply dominate and shake off the twist into a load of false feelings and thoughts, dancing around the true acknowledgement of shame as on of the stronger aspects covering up your core wounding – waiting to be acknowledged and honestly Met.
When we subtly feel, that the people around us are not in celebration of the aspect of reality which we freely and naturally are here to Shine As, we automatically retract into a shell of invisible and unheard. Unseen.
We can speak of this as aspects of the human wounding, because it really is a twist naturally taken inside of us away from rest in Being, with reality, as humans, which arises as a voice of “wounded child” within us. The voice of the wounded child is not real -(there is no wounded child) – and yet, we have to be willing to Meet this voice open-arms, Listening to/being present in seeing and feeling, with its appearance within us, before it can release its illusory boundaries of being cut-off from reality, of somebodiness which pulses through our consciousness and body-space – for the release of our true sound and reality-aligned vibration as mature adults.
The mature adult is not a “something in itself” to be believed in. It is more accurately described a body aligned to the dance of the Universal and Earth vibration and which due to the lack of contracted inner voices simply hums the sound of All-inclusive Reality – instead of the vibration of the cut-off and illusory.
It can be hard to relate to these different voices without taking them seriously, but somehow we simply need to reverse our approach of Listening to the body, to one of pure Presence, of no-opinion on feelings appearing or being willing to twist or turn the aspects of our experience towards an idea of where the resolution is going. The system is Very Sensitive in that way and towards that – simply because attempts at doing will try to replace a false vibration with another invented one – instead of the real one. It needs real and true self-compassion and this cannot be faked, it is the result of our willingness to Love ourselves Truly. In this way, we can tell ourselves we are working through stuff, while actually being perpetuating the illusion behind it’s arising. It is easy to get lost in the sub-conscious.
If we approach and train ourselves as pure consciousness – through the purification of the heart in softening and sincerity, in bowing to admittance to foolishness of disagreement with What Is, we can arrive at being Helped Greatly by Grace in the healing and movement towards wholeness. But it requires our innocence. Our willingness to let go of the false and self-protective.
The different aspects of wounding holds different indications. The indications of Shame moving unseen are;
- beliefs in worthlessness
- the arising of competitiveness
- and inner creations of and belief in hierarchies
The opportunity which presents itself
An invitation stands for you to pass beyond the inner moves of deviation from and rejection of the real and natural, the whole and uncomplicated. In other words, to arrive at a true and natural belonging to what is unfolding in your Life, this needs to be tenderly but honestly approached. With an agreement to step into a life beyond addiction to the drama it creates in you.
It needs to happen for you to arrive – Right Here! – at the center of relaxation and real appreciation, in acknowledgement of yourself and other – as unity with reality – without the inner happening of neither grasping nor pushing away. Without deflating the value of the profound nor closing off or dimming the light of yourself.
The wounding flourishing and arising in you Calls to be handled with great responsibility.
You cannot become truly yourself without coming into a proper relationship with this part of you.
Anger in Play
When Anger arises in us, what we need to know is, that although something may have set it off, the revealer is never the reason for the anger appearing in you. It is JUST the trigger. The rising of anger is never because of Something – it is Always the other way around. That we have anger in us, which reveals in response to existence showing us something, to help it flash and rise to the surface.
For this reason alone, projecting anger outwards is never the way to go. The projection of anger outwards can always ever be the result of lack of humility – of disagreement towards what is happening in life, what is asking to be met and handled in Truth.
We are standing with a whole fan of emotions here, of energies, which all have a slightly different flavour and ground. There is anger, fury, wrath, rage and aggression. Which are not the same.
Many Flavours
Rage and aggression holds the seed of our own disagreement with Life, with God. Aggression has disrespect and lack of Love in its ground. Its further development within the unconsciousness fuelling is rage. It holds the seed of manipulation – the ongoing push/pull dynamics based on hatred – and calls us to humility in a bowing and bending to the ground.
Anger, in its most honest revelation, is at the root of most of our human actions and factually speaking lies behind most of the doing we carry out on this planet. It is in fact Just a feeling and has no life of its own apart from what we give it in fear of being sincerely and simply honest about its arising. When we loose our own fear of it, it can be experienced sweetly and directly without any need to dance it into play, as a part of us being called into deeper surrender.
Fury and Wrath are different by nature. They are pure/true responses to detriment forces and are rooted in Love, in Truth, beyond the thwarted attempts to animate the pure response from Life. It is devoid of somebodiness. Fury is a feminine rising just as wrath is its masculine counterpart. Fury is like an all up-rooting cyclone, while wrath is a mountain-solid thunderbolt.
Knowing the different qualities of this energy, we can start dealing with it in more accurate ways.
Deeper Surrender – Anger Awaits
To pass into the field of Compassion, of non-violence, we will inevitably come to stand face to with face the ground of anger, which in the past has made us make moves, to change what didn’t satisfy us. Without manipulating existence in an attempt to “keep us happy”, we stand before the dissolution of a bottomline identity based on the dynamics of push and pull.
Passing through this bottomline opens the door for arrival in pure Joy, which isn’t dependent on whether things on a surface level is “like this or like that”. It brings us beyond the investments in what takes place existentially and leaves us equally happy no matter what takes place. Beyond the need to manipulate life’s movements. It isn’t equal to non-care of “whatever”, but it means we stand naked and in acceptance towards Life’s will – at every turn in life.
Embracing Anger
Anger is not dangerous. It is just a feeling. Most of us have probably learned to lock the feeling down in very early age, as a manner of our upbringing to be accepted. If we have made such an inner move around anger, we often become pleasing, when we are actually angry.
To re-open the door to anger means to dissolve the inner objection to its existence in our system. We may fear it at first, as we have never learned to have a sound and healthy relationship to it, to be able to contain it and let it transmute.
The root of anger is actually pure life-force, and in its rising we can learn to enjoy the feeling, simply by letting it be and acknowledging “the guest called Anger” is in our house (body). To enjoy it is not equal to riding on it or perpetuating it, but to innocently allow it to be as sweetly welcome, as any other feeling.
A Technique for dissipating Aggression
A way to intelligently handle anger, as it arises in the form of a deeper calling for our surrender, is to;
- Place yourself on the edge of a chair.
- Sit with a straight back and rest your hands on your knees.
- Now close your eyes, locate the anger and keep the anger in sight, with eyes closed.
- Press the tongue against the palate of your mouth.
- Now breathe in through your nose and slowly exhale all the air via your mouth while making a long hiss-noise – like a snake. This action dissipates negativity from our system.
- Continue the breath in and hiss out until you have released the sufficient amount of anger from your system to once again have a state of relaxation through your body. Repeat as needed.
Greeting Loneliness
Loneliness is a reality we all have to face, to be able to Rest at the core of being straight, on ground and solidly ourselves – uncompromising to the fact of our engagement with the world and able to harvest the fruits of direct interaction with God.
The journey into the Universal Heart gives us oneness on an off-ground level, but when we travel into the core of the Human Heart we stand face to face with the fact of being “an actual physical separate unit” (a human) in the scope of it all. A SEVERELY overwhelming feeling, which calls us to attain the compassion needed to cover and fulfil our human existence and its needs – to take care of ourselves on every layer – physically, emotionally and psychologically – as we grow in and as consciousness and merge with Spirit.
On this level, our embrace, our willingness to Hold ourselves Warmly/as Love/consciously/COMPASSIONATELY allows for a strengthening of our incarnated Spirit, which in turn becomes able to walk this Earth in GREAT self-rest and depth devoid of separation from Her on and beyond ground level. In supreme certainty rather than insecurity and overall to allow for a maturation and growing up on all levels, which makes for a different reality in terms of being free to move instead of having a baseline in our lives of co-dependency.
Loneliness as a Feeling – yes, it is hard to Meet, because it is a straight-shooter towards the breaking of the heart – the final fatal Call to be Met by God, which requires our arrival AS that Love for the dissolution of the “someone apart from God”. Our somebodiness rises as these waves of feelings – but when we peel it back, we do not cling to the human feeling/experience anymore and the feeling passes unobstructed and with a sense of sweetness, since we don’t deny it and don’t delay it’s passing.
It Is challenging in the learning stages, yes, but also the alleyway to living the deeper gratitude for the reality of Simply Breathing – for God in its most Naked. A wheeling-back to the simple fact of gratitude to be alive, which roots Joy at the baseline of our human experience independent of expectation towards and investment in our human experience based on “having SOMETHING or SOMEONE to be grateful for” – of leaning forwards into our human lives to find something to be happy about, rather than finding the Real JOY based in our resting in and down.
It is an angle of severe rooting as Reality – not the feeling itself, but the way in which we have to center inside to meet and greet it, for it to dissolve into gratitude. In other words, this is why we fear it so much, because the Only way out of it, is by Meeting ourselves as Love on that bottomline where no amount of attempts to fix will do, and only compassion will rule the day – something which requires our inner rising and falling in surrender to Her.
Our straightening out of the subtle layers of identification and grasping at life as-if it equals experience is needed to deal with the subtle twists of consciousness AWAY from Joy in Simply Being. Something which we for starters will find Hard to nail, because we from the somebody-side tend to generate a huge amount of “secondary feelings” to move on top of the feeling, in panic of simply dying as ego and resting down as consciousness in the core relaxation into and through the feeling of loneliness itself.
The feeling itself is like a deepening well. Every time it wants to reveal another arrival in union with Her as severe strong-standing on-ground, we face another and deeper level of the feeling, which gets to break the Human heart even deeper.
Meeting this feeling requires an END to dancing around the fact of learning Joy as the BASIC feeling of our standing on/in this Earth as Being in body. It is extremely deep and fundamental as the learning of pure JOY (in being one with Her as the Female Spirit directly, through a growth of compassion towards our human being – making us able to rest deeeeep down and deeper, as consciousness).
With that said, I must also make it Clear, that loneliness is Also “just another human feeling on the feeling-piano” – awaiting our growth as compassion, for us to befriend it and reach the end of making a big deal out of it (as in; look at our humanity – the clinging, the compromises and co-dependence etc.).
When we reach the end of avoiding to be at home with this feeling – allowing it to pass naturally and compassionately, we will be able to navigate from what is Best for everything and will no longer hold ourselves or each other back in terms of growth and evolution, to not-feel alone etc. The world would look very different.
To work with this, requires us to move towards befriending the feeling. To learn the inner roll back of the objection towards it, and to take the heart-break Straight On and as it turns itself in. To fall in love with this feeling is not easy and yet possibly the deepest beneficial attainment, as it is the most challenging human core feeling, which deeply defies our animal instinct of survival and tests as builds the bridge into our rest in God as Her. All I can say is – the work of dissolving the objection is deeply worthwhile…
As a last word, I can confirm that it is not possible to be an awake, deep and un-manipulating being on ground in this world without facing the fact of loneliness as the natural result of being in this world which primarily moves on surface-layers of and are either in deep sleep or moving on fear and avoidance. Including this feeling – loneliness – in the repertoire of feelings that we can be happy/in Joy with/enjoy as a part of our human experience, leaves us with being able to stay in Joy – greeting this friend with the same sweetness as any other aspect of our human experience.
Deep Love,
Pema