Honest to Fear
The happening of fear in the body must by far be The Sensory experience which is best able to freeze our body in its track. Fear is as such a stop-button on Love, on Life, which pauses, freezes, for a while, until we have presenced its transportation through our nervous system.
I witness many who are meeting and experiencing this happening in this time. The freezing of the system, which in many ways render them helpless. Good news – there is a Key.
First off, the awareness of and honesty to the feeling of fear must be recognized. Owned. It must be Seen in the light of full honesty and all strategies of attempts to create security through control, through acting ones way out of the underlying feeling must be caught in its track. We must reduce the impact from and isolate the feeling – so as to come into a Clear View of it.
Once the feeling of fear is in a Clear view, we have reestablished our vulnerability and thereby Touch ALL the way to the bottom. The greatest challenge from here is the ability to stay open to and explore the feeling all the way into its strongest and most delicate details.
The sense of fear in the body can arrive as a whole range of strength. The strength of it is what determines whether we experience its occurence as fear or in its stronger manifestation – as terror.
You are Bound to experience this occurence inside you, when you meet up with Her. If there was no fear, you can be sure that you would already be One with Her. So to proclaim “I am not afraid” is by far the most foolish expression of bravery. End the identification with fear and become brave in the face of it – instead of clinging to the notion, that not feeling fear is equal to bravery. It is a grave misunderstanding and twist of believing the occurence of fear to be equal to weakness. The fact is – the opposite is true. Being brave is to not be afraid of being afraid.
The sensation of fear – in its clear view and full honesty – is one of ice in the veins. The very opposite of Love, which varies from warmth to fire.
If you trace the feeling of fear back to its origin – in its most raw sensory form, it is shaped like needles inside. Icy needles. It stings and is very unpleasent. But… That is all it is. and it is this knowledge which we must remember in the face of it, as it travels through our insides. We must meet the feeling in its most naked sense.
The absolute worst thing we can do in the moment of fear rolling through, is to take off. As consciousness. Do Not activate your mind, looking for a story. We must go opposite to the attempt to get-away, to escape into the mind by trying to find a reason for it, and we must crawl even closer and all the way up to its happening in the body. THIS is the movement of taking care and of taking responsibility. When we can’t own fear in the body, it sets off into forceful use of energy and when we can’t accept the nakedness of the feeling, of course, as always, it becomes a seed of manipulation as well.
In the moment of fear arising. Do NOT make the choice to speak. Focus. Focus Ever deeper until you are holding and passing this icy occurence in your body.
If you in the moment of trying to focus are asked “what is wrong?”, from your surroundings, do not answer. The cause is simply, that if you start speaking, chances are that you will be distracted and relentlessly tossed into mind and trying to explain away why you feel how you feel. The why is not important. The taking care in that moment is. If you are around people who can be with you in that state, then Beautiful, if not, then it is not the time to explain to the people around you what is going on. In this moment, you and you alone is what matter and your passing will require your full Holding and self-focused Love.
The experience in itself is unpleasent and we can laugh at it afterwards, although we can stand a bit shocked at how strong this feeling of fear can actually BE and how much it can rattle us in the moment of its appearence.
You do however have what it takes – and now the key also – to handle this occurence in your body, connected with the drop of your being into your deeper rawness.
In my experience, fear Never has an actual cause – other than itself. We may Think that what Triggers the fear is the actual reason why we are afraid, but it never is. Whatever we seem to be afraid of, when fear is activated and reflects into minds thought, it ALWAYS is a run-down straight back to the fact, that whatever sets us off as triggers, in fact is a deeper Call from Her and requirement for us to surrender deeper. So subtly we Always know, when we need to die deeper into Her – and the “what we think we fear” may be the alley to where we subconsciously Know we Have to surrender. In this way, it is never the thing which we mentally project the fear on, in itself. It is the level of surrender it requires from us to succeed in the meeting with whatever it is we fear.
The more we deal in honesty with the feeling of fear, the more we befriend and see it for what it is, the more we simply are left with the strongly shaking uncomfortability of passing it with full consciousness.
A last reflection on the matter is, that the arising of fear always moves in cycles. If you want to befriend your fear, the way to go about it is to study when it occurs in you. With open curiosity and willingness to not flee from uncomfortability. Because it is always connected to a cycle. One of the moving wheels of your inner progress of moving in evolution.
So I guess that all that is left, is to ask you… Have you befriended your fear? What is your strategy for avoiding feeling the fear directly? How do you attempt to control your way out of the situation, when fear turns itself in? Welcoming your own contemplation on these aspects and welcome to bring it to our next meeting.
Kindness,
Pema
